Your heart is beating with excitement; jumping to your feet, you fist pump the air, joining the chants of those around you shouting 

“I CAN DO THIS!”

Bursting with renewed self-belief, you fly out of the seminar grounded only by the books and CDs purchased (in a frenzy) to maintain the high. At home, you create your vision board. The speaker’s voice on the CD reminds you of the unlimited potential you must awaken to live the life of your dreams. When negative thoughts scratch their way in, you fist pump them away yelling “I CAN DO THIS!”

Your life is going to change!

And it does…

Your dog eats a bad french fry resulting in a staggering veterinary bill, and your dream promotion is given to an unworthy co-worker. In a hissy fit of despair, you binge on alcohol, fast food and QVC until you run out of money and steam.  You awaken to a maxxed-out credit card, a 12-pound weight gain and a STD. Your “giant within” has shrunk to an undersized troll living under a mystical bridge.

The motivational book glares at you from the coffee table. The speaker’s voice, once inspiring, now fills you self-loathing.

How did that glow of self-belief disappear with a couple puffs from the bad luck dragon?

The truth is, the glow was never going to last. While a great inspirational talk can jack up some temporary positive feelings; it cannot bolster your self-belief.

Your self-belief will not increase by feel-good speeches, bumper sticker lines on facebook or catch phrase about your greatness.

Self-belief is self-grown.

Self Belief is grown by struggling through adversities, by pushing yourself to finish when you want to quit and by keeping promises you make to yourself.

Four not-instant ways to enhance your self-belief.

  1. Set a series of challenging but realistic goals and achieve them or most of them. Self-belief and self-confidence are linked to self-discipline. Yup, you will have to work for this.
  2. Take the time to recognize and applaud your accomplishments. Focusing on your lack brings more of the same. Use your past accomplishments to reinforce your strengths.
  3. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique, and your life journey is yours alone. You get only one life so focus on becoming the best only you can be.
  4. Become a life-long learner by exposing yourself to new challenges and experiences. Stop looking at a challenge or a new experience as a possibility for success or failure, instead, see them as opportunities to grow and expand your life.

You cannot buy self-belief or win it in a lottery. Self-belief cannot be given to you. The price of self-belief is discipline and effort.

The truth is “You can do this!” the question is “Will you?”