Funny motivational speaker Amy Dee’s blog;
A communication book said, “Speak from I, not you.”
The author described the importance of taking responsibility for our own feelings.
She pointed out that no one can make us feel anything. We are responsible for our emotions, even for the feelings that come as a response to someone’s behavior.
It reminded me of a friend who once told me his mother refused to use his firstborn son’s name. Instead, she chose her “own, better” name that she’s used for the past eighteen years. “Wow, that would be irritating,” I exclaimed. My friend laughed, saying, “She loves him, that’s all that counts.” My friend chose happiness.
The coronavirus caused all activities to shut down in Mom’s senior living center. Instead of grumbling, Mom asked the administration to clarify the rules. Then Mom arranged a small bridge game in her apartment. Now, she’s expanded to hosting two small bridge games, one happy hour, and one luncheon weekly. Mom took charge of her happiness.
Owning my happiness sounds great, but applying it to my life remains challenging. I still sometimes think Steve makes me either happy or miserable. If he’d do what I want, I’d be ok.
Here’s an example, I like quiet while I work. Steve has long, loud, one-sided conversations with our pets. He stops when I ask, but before long, I hear him asking our poodle Tia “What’s on the menu today? Filet mignon, your favorite! What? Why the long face? You don’t like filet mignon now?”
I could go into battle every time I hear him say, “Tia, what do you see out there? A monster?” Or laugh at Steve’s goofball behavior. It’s my choice.
My happiness is my responsibility. I may request specific behavior from others, but whether they comply or not, my response is my problem. The choice I make will determine my happiness at that moment.
Life is happier when I stop trying to get others to make me happy. My happiness is my choice, and taking responsibility for it makes me feel empowered.
Are you taking responsibility for your own happiness?